


Lost Boy

by LeesaCrakon



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, But Neither Of them Know it n, Depression, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up, Inspired By Tumblr, Inspired by Music, Kissing, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, References to Depression, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Until they kiss, Wensleydale Centric, Wensleydale Has Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-18
Packaged: 2020-06-30 13:20:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19854016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeesaCrakon/pseuds/LeesaCrakon
Summary: Wensleydale and the rest of the Them are grown up now. The rest have all left Tadfield but Wensleydale stayed, being an accountant, just like everyone said he would. Life is dull, but a spontaneous visit from his childhood friends shake things up, resurfacing old memories and, along with it, old feelings Wensleydale had thought were best left forgotten. After all, there was no possible way Brian would ever feel the same way about him. Right?





	Lost Boy

Wensleydale was lost. 

Metaphorically of course, but lost all the same. All he did, every day, was eat, go to work, sleep, repeat. Adam, Brian, and Pepper had escaped Tadfield years ago, but Wensleydale was stuck there, working a dull office job as an accountant because everybody told him that’s what he would be good at. And he was good at it. That didn’t mean he liked it, though. Often times he would go back home after a long day of work and more work and look at pictures of the Them back when they were just kids. Wensleydale was only 25, but he felt old looking at those pictures. He felt boring and dull; he’d always thought he was boring and dull. Pepper, Adam, and Brian were the only ones who had ever managed to make him feel exciting. He was stuck in a boring life, in a boring house, with no friends and no way to feel truly happy.

It was another boring day in the office. Wensleydale leaned his chin against his hand, half asleep as he stared dully at his screen, glasses askew. He wasn’t really processing anything as he mindlessly scrolled, and his eyes kept flickering down to his watch. An Hour to go. 45 minutes to go. Half an hour to go. Wensleydale groaned and slammed his head down onto his desk, irritated beyond belief and just wanting the day to end. Someone knocked on the side of his cubicle and he jumped, startled. He looked up to see one of his superiors. He couldn’t remember his name and frankly didn’t care. 

“We’re closing up early tonight, you can start heading home,” the man said wearily, twisting his tie in his hand. He really shouldn’t have been in a management position with nerves like his. Smiling gratefully, Wensleydale nodded, grabbing his briefcase and paperwork he would have to finish at home before rushing as quickly as he could out of that dreadful building. He didn’t know why he was in such a hurry to get home. it was just as drab there as it was at work, but Wensleydale supposed he just found it more comfortable than an office cubicle. 

“Wensley! Wensleydale! Jeremy! Wait!” someone was shouting, and Wensleydale was nearly knocked off his feet as a blur of curls barreled into him, tackling him in a fierce hug. Wensleydale tried to get away when he actually saw who the person was and stopped, surprised. 

“Adam? What are you doing here?” Wensleydale exclaimed, pulling away and grabbing Adam (for it was Adam) by the shoulders to look at him better. The other man was grinning from ear to ear. he’d changed a lot since Wensleydale had last seen him. His hair was longer. going past his shoulders and down his back, and he’d grown much taller. His style had changed too, less ‘young schoolboy’ and more artsy looking. he even had a stereotypical red flannel and beanie. 

“Just back in town for a while! I was just coming down to get you, Brian and Pepper are- wait, are you wearing a suit?” Adam was rambling a bit but Wensleydale didn’t mind, and he smiled somewhat proudly at the comment about his attire. 

“Yep, I am. Part of the dress code at the office. Doesn’t it look professional?” Wensleydale asked, smoothing the front of his grey suit jacket. Adam smiled impossibly wider and nodded. He was so much happier than when Wensleydale had lost seen him, he realized. Life must be treating him well. _Wish I could have that,_ Wensleydale thought bitterly, but he quickly pushed those thoughts aside. “You said Pepper and Brian were here. Is there any special reason you’re all back?” Wensleydale asked as Adam put an arm around his shoulders and led him down the streets. 

“Well, we wanted to see you,” Adam stated as if it were obvious. Wensleydale’s face flushed. 

“Really now Adam, please be serious-”

“I am, Wensley, I promise! We live close by to each other so we see each other all the time, but we never see you! We thought it would be nice to just visit and catch up,” Adam continued. Wensleydale didn’t know how to reply to that, so he didn’t, and Adam didn’t force him to. Pepper and Brian were perched not far away on a park bench, chatting with each other and laughing. Pepper looked the same as always, with her curly hair let down and hanging freely with jeans, beat-up tennis shoes, and a black button-up. Brian, though…

Jesus fucking Christ, Wensleydale had never been more confused and yet more attracted to a man simultaneously in his entire life. Brian had gone full punk rock. He had a leather jacket with spikes and various awareness patches stitched into it, ripped black skinny jeans, knee-high black leather boots, a lip piercing, three small piercings in both ears, and his hair styled into a faux hawk fade. It appeared college really could change a man, just like Brian had said it would to Wensleydale right before he left. Wensleydale didn’t mind it though. Not one bit. 

“There you are! I thought I was going to die before you got out here,” Pepper said as soon as she saw her two friends placing her hands on her hips, but not being able to hide her small smile. Wensleydale rolled his eyes and grinned. 

“I missed you too, Pepper. You look great!”

“Flattery never works on a married woman, Wensleydale, I thought you would know that,” Pepper teased, interlocking her fingers with Adam’s when he sat next to her. 

“And teasing doesn’t work on a gay man, so I guess we’re even,” Wensleydale retorted with a cheeky smile. Brian snorted and hid his face behind his hand, trying to conceal his smile. “What’s so funny?” Wensleydale asked, his face heating up. 

Brian looked up at him with a fond smile and said, “You haven’t changed a bit, Wensleydale.” If only he knew. Wensleydale managed to smile and nodded in thanks, but couldn’t muster up a thank you, both because he was flustered and hiding the fact that Brian’s comment made him want to crawl into a hole and die. Brian clapped his hands and stood, towering a good foot or two over Wensleydale both from his actual height and his heeled boots. “Right then, we’re all here. Where should we go?” Brian said, looking around at his three friends questioningly. 

“I was thinking we could go to Hogback woods…my father said our little hideaway is still there. Someone’s been keeping it up for us,” Adam suggested. The four adults hovered in nostalgia for a moment, and Wensleydale contained a smile, Call it an obsession, boredom, or both, he didn’t care. He’d kept their hideaway in the woods in tip-top condition for seven years, ever since they had all left after high school. It grounded him, reminded him of better times when he didn’t have to worry about what he was supposed to do next or whether or not he was wanted. 

“That’s perfect! I wonder if our wooden swords are still there,” Pepper said thoughtfully, leading Adam to their blue BMW and getting into the driver’s seat. Wensleydale knew for a fact that the swords were still there. He’d made sure of it. The two buckled in and drove off. 

“Come on, let’s catch up to them,” Brian said, grinning with excitement as he rushed over to a black motorbike, 

“Oh no, no. There’s no way I’m getting on that,” Wensleydale protested. Motorbikes were insecure and they could go off balance at any moment and he would have to grab onto Brian just to stay on, and he couldn’t think of anything more humiliating. Brian scoffed.

“Live a little! it’ll be fin, I promise. I’m really good with these,” Brian said encouragingly, grabbing the two helmets off the back and handing one to Wensleydale. The bespectacled man took it skeptically, raising an eyebrow at Brian. 

“Did you plan this?” Wensleydale asked. To his surprise, Brian blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, looking rather sheepish. 

“Maybe, maybe not. Let’s not talk about that right now, Adam and Pepper will be waiting for us,” Brian said hurriedly, putting on his helmet and swinging his leg over the bike. Wensleydale sighed and put his helmet on, getting on behind Brian and hesitating. “Around my waist, I like to drive fast,” Brian encouraged. Wensleydale grimaced and did as he was told, blushing furiously as he pressed his face into his friend’s back. He could have sworn he heard Brian let out a sigh of relief, but he supposed he was just hearing things.

“How fast does this go, exactly?” Wensleydale asked nervously. Brian looked back at him and smirked before flipping down the visor on his helmet.

“Just hold on really, really tight. Wensley,” Brian said, revving up the bike before taking off down the road. Wensleydale almost fell off, but he gripped onto Brian’s waist tightly, squeezing his eyes shut. Brian’s blushed crept down his neck and his ears turned red. He was grateful for his helmet then, which kept Wensleydale from seeing his face. He would’ve been mortified if his lifelong friend-turned-crush (when that happened, he couldn’t recall) had seen him. The ride lasted much too short for Brian’s liking, and when Wensleydale quickly let go of his waist when it was over he felt his heart drop. This was a stupid idea. Fuck Adam and Pepper and their ‘romantic gestures’. He stayed quiet as Wensleydale took off his helmet, hair messy but admittedly adorable. Seeing the usually put together man with messy hair was enduring. The two walked side by side into the woods until they reached their childhood hangout. Pepper and Adam were already having a sword fight while an aged but still playful Dog yipped and ran around their feet. 

“Argh, I spy two scallywags trying to board me ship!” Adam said, pointing his wooden sword at Brian and smirking. Brian’s eyes lit up mischievously and he ducked around Adam, rushing to the tree and grabbing his own wooden sword concealed under a rotting blanket. He tossed the remaining sword to Wensleydale and leaped down, immediately engaging in combat with Adam and Pepper. Wensleydale stood there dumbly, watching his friends reenact their favorite childhood game. It was either cowboys versus pirates or knights versus pirates. Adam always had come up with the best of ideas. Wensleydale smiled bitterly. Even when they were kids he’d felt left out, despite the three of them doing their very best to make sure he felt included. 

“Wensleydale, a little help here?” Brian shouted, his distressed voice alerting his attention. Wensleydale looked up to see Brian pinned up against a tree, fighting off both Adam and Pepper. Quickly rushing to the scene, Wensleydale brandished his sword and, still skiddish, poked Adam in the back with it. The other man grinned, turning to face his nervous opponent. Wensleydale gripped the handle of his makeshift weapon tighter, the sounds of Brian and Pepper continuing to fight in the background ringing in his ear. It felt just like old times. Adam whacked his sword against Wensleydake’s startling him out of his train of thought, and the fight began. They were no experts, nor were they as practiced as they were as children, but they were adults reliving some of their most wonderful memories. Even as he was hit and bruised and nearly knocked to the ground, Wensleydale had a wide, happy smile on his face, the first genuine smile he had worn since his friends had all left him behind in Tadfield. They played for hours, feeling just like the eleven-year-olds playing in the woods and annoying R.P. Tyler they had been fourteen years ago. 

The fights ended with all four of the sprawled on the ground, laughing and breathless as the stared up at the darkening night sky. The moon peeked out from behind the clouds, illuminating the Them and the groves of trees in a gentle, silver light. Brian stole a glance Wensleydale’s way and his heart nearly stopped in his chest. Seeing him smiling so widely in his suit and tie and dorky glasses with the light illuminating his face could have been the last thing Brian saw and he would have died a happy man. Daringly, he moved closer to Wensleydale until they were pressed against each other like Pepper was on his other side and Adam was on hers. Wensleydale’s heart nearly leaped unto his throat when Brian did that, and he had to remind himself that it was a purely platonic gesture. 

“So, how have you been Wensleydale? Really?” Adam suddenly asked, turning on his side to face his friend. Wensleydale gave him a confused look. “What? We really did come here to see you, we see each other all the time and we have no idea what you’re doing or how things are with you,” Adam continued. Wensleydale’s smile melted off his face and he shifted slightly on the ground, looking up at the stars overhead. Brian turned on his side to face him as well and Pepper linked her arm through his, resting her head on his shoulder. Wensleydale closed his eyes and sighed deeply. 

“You really want to know?” Wensleydale asked. This was their last chance to back out. They all made varying noises and gestures of agreement, and Wensleydale swallowed the lump in his throat. He was finally going to come clean to them all. “It’s been lonely without you all here.” Silence. Wensleydale continued. “Mum and dad moved out of town two years ago. Mr. Tyler passed away around the same time. All I’ve really done is go to work…and I hate my job. I only became an accountant because everybody told me to. I wanted to do something with science…but now I’m stuck in an office every day for hours on end doing absolutely nothing,” Wensleydale muttered. Brian looked down at him sympathetically and came to rest at his side, putting his head on his chest and wrapping an arm around him. Wensleydale shivered slightly. 

“That sounds awfully dull,” Pepper commented, playing with Wensleydale’s ie and frowning. His throat tightened. 

“It’s not just boring, it’s-” his voice broke “-it’s absolutely horrid! I fucking hate it!” Wensleydale’s voice trembled and his eyes began to well up with tears. “I feel…I feel so trapped here. I thought I would want to stay but I’m so lonely all the time and-” Wensleydale clamped a hand over his mouth as a sob threatened to escape. His closed his eyes tightly and tried to gain control over himself. Brian held him tighter and Pepper curled into his side while Adam tried to get closer, putting an arm over both Pepper and Wensleydale. 

“It’s alright to cry, Wensley. You may be an adult but you’re still allowed to feel things-” Pepper started before she was cut off by Wensleydale.

“But you were all so happy just a moment ago! I don’t want to ruin it! I always…I always ruin everything,” Wensleydale said between sobs. He hid his face in his hands, burning with shame as he cried uncontrollably between his three friends. 

“You haven’t ruined anything,” Adam said firmly, using his free hand to rest on top of Wensleydale’s head in a comforting but somewhat awkward gesture. “We came here for you. We want you to be honest with us, and you are. We love you, Wensley. We care about you and we want you to be happy. Just because we’re grownups now doesn’t mean we don’t care anymore.” Wensleydale nodded. 

“I-I know, I just…I’ve felt like this for so long, and I…I honestly hate myself, and I hate this town, and I hate feeling so lonely all the time and I wish everything would just stop, but I can’t do anything about it!” Wensleydale said miserably, not sobbing anymore but still crying. “I have no money, no ambition, no real talent. It’s hard for me to even get out of bed in the morning without…without wanting to…” Wensleydale closed his eyes, unable to finish his thought, but he didn’t have to. The others understood. 

“We’ll take you with us. We aren’t rich but we can help you get on your feet. You could go to school!” Brian said, hovering over Wensleydale and looking down at him earnestly. Wensleydale sniffed and wiped his face. 

“I…I appreciate that, Brian, but I wouldn’t want to be a burden,” Wensleydale said softly, looking up into Brian’s eyes and cursing his heart for hammering so loudly in his chest. Brian’s gaze softened. 

“You could never be a burden, not to us. Alright? promise,” Brian said with a smile, placing a hand over his heart to seal the deal. Wensleydale smiled back shakily, letting out another sigh. He did that a lot. Brian settled back down next to him ad wrapped his arm around his waist again. Wensleydale closed his eyes and breathed deeply, allowing himself to relish in the moment. He’d wanted this for so long, it was hard to believe that they were all really here. And they loved him. And wanted to help him. Love was a word that was thrown around too much these days, but Wensleydale knew that he could trust his friends when they said it. 

“It’s getting late,” Wensleydale murmured. “It’s nearly midnight. We should probably go.” Brian whined in protest and Pepper sighed, but Adam took Wensleydale’s side. 

“We’re leaving tomorrow, we need to get up early so we can start driving,” Adam piped up. Wensleydale’ stomach twisted into knots. 

“You’re….you’re leaving tomorrow?” Wensleydale asked weakly. Adam smiled apologetically.

“Yeah. But we’re coming back very, very soon. Unless…you want to come with us now, rather than later?” Adam replied. His voice was hopeful. Wensleydale's face fell. 

“No. I’m sorry, but I’m not that spontaneous. I couldn’t quit my job on a second’s notice, and…and I’d have to sell the house and do so many other things before I would be ready to move.”

“You worry too much,” Pepper insisted, but Brian shook his head.

“No, Wensleydale is right. A lot goes into leaving a place, even if you don’t like it very much. The best thing we can do right now is support him as he works his way up to leaving here,” Brian said. Wensleydale felt a pang in his chest. He knew Brian meant well and he was really repeating but Wensleydale had just said, but it almost sounded like he didn’t want Wensleydale to come with them. With Brian’s words, the conversation was over and Adam got to his feet, helping Pepper up. Brian scrambled to his feet and grabbed Wensleydale’s hand to lift him up.

“We’ll figure this out soon, right?” Wensleydale asked hopefully, looking around at the three of them as they began to walk back to their vehicles. 

“Of course! A promise is a promise. We won’t leave you here a second longer than necessary,” Pepper said with a curt nod. Wensleydale didn’t reply. Adam and pepper got into their car and Wensleydale put on his helmet and got onto Brian’s motorbike, holding on to him as they sped down the road. Wensleydale managed to direct Brian to where his house was without getting them into a wreck, and he felt both relief and sadness when they reached his modest abode. He didn’t want the night to end, but he just felt like curling up in bed and crying for hours. He should’ve known his happiness would be shortlived. The universe would never be that kind to him. To his surprise, Brian got off the bike with him and walked with him to the front door, hands in his pockets and kicking at a loose stone on the pathway. 

“I’m glad I was able to see you again,” Brian said, lifting his head to look at Wensleydale and smiling. Wensleydale just hummed in acknowledgment. Brian sighed. “Is this about what I said before? I didn’t mean anything by it. I was…I was just trying to help,” he said softly. The thought of adding to Wensleydale’s pain made Brian’s heart ache. He cared about his friend in a way that was much stronger than just the love between friends. He wanted to make him happy, not discourage him and make him feel worthless. 

“I know, Brian. And you were right. I suppose I just wish you all would stay here longer,” Wensleydale admitted. Brian smiled and playfully ruffled the other’s man’s hair, making him yelp in protest and hurry to fix it. 

“Hey, I’m not going anywhere! I may live a ways off but I’ll always be here or you. We will always be here for you.” Brian quickly corrected himself and his face grew hot. Wensleydale blushed too, but the darkness and the moonlight made it impossible to see. They got to the front door and Wensleydale turned to Brian, smiling weakly. 

“I look forward to seeing you again. You better come back soon,” Wensleydale warned, a playful smile on his lips as he crossed his arms over his chest. Brian laughed and hugged Wensleydale tightly, holding him close and probably lingering longer than he should have.

“I will, I promise. Take care, Wensleydale,” Brian said, pulling away from the hug. Wensleydale nodded and gave one last smile before turning and opening the door to go inside. Something stopped him, though. As he heard the soft crunch of Brian’s footsteps against the gravel of his driveway, his stomach suddenly churned with fear. he was letting him walk away again. He was letting Brian leave without telling him…everything.

“Wait…Brian, wait!” Wensleydale cried out suddenly, turning around and grabbing his friend by the back of the shirt. Startled, Brian turned around to see his friend and was shocked to see tears rolling down his face and fogging up his glasses. Alarmed, Brian held Wensleydale by the shoulders. 

“What’s wrong? Come on, talk to me,” Brian said gently. Despite his beating heart, he plucked up the courage to wipe away the tears falling rapidly down his friend’s face. Wensleydale let out a sob and hung his head, ashamed. 

“I don’t want you to go…I don’t want to be alone anymore,” Wensleydale admitted, his grip on Brian’s shirt tightening. Brian’s face flushed and despite himself, despite every nerve in his body screaming for him to stop, he cupped Wensleydale’s face in his hands and tilted his face upwards, running his thumb across his cheek and wiping away the tears there. Wensleydale’s eyes widened but he didn’t pull away, looking up into Brian’s eyes desperately. 

“Then I’ll take you with me. I know what I said earlier, and I know that just dropping everything and leaving will be stressful, but you shouldn’t be here Wensleydale. This place is suffocating you. Come with me,” Brian said breathlessly, hands moving from Wensleydale’s face back to his shoulders and gripping tighter than he probably should have. Wensleydale smiled gently and his eyes softened as he looked up at Brian, the tension leaving his shoulders and the tears slowing to a stop. 

“I…I would like that. Very much,” Wensleydale whispered. Brian smiled back down at him, eyes fond. 

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

They stared at each other for a while. Rather, it seemed like a while, but Wensleydale knew that it had been only a few seconds. His heart was thumping in his chest and his face was heating up as he looked up at Brian. His friend never ceased to amaze him. From his freckles to his toothy grin to his constant griminess to the way his eyes sparkled when he was happy or told a joke, Brian was absolutely perfect in Wensleydale’s eyes. And perhaps that’s why Wensleydale cast aside all rational thought and surged forward, wrapping his arms around Brian’s neck and kissing him, closing his eyes and leaning into him. Brian squeaked in surprise and froze for a moment, arms stuck out awkwardly, but he quickly composed himself and returned the kiss, wrapping his arms around Wensleydale’s waist and kissing him as if it were the most natural thing in the world. When they pulled away, Wensleydale nestled into the crook of Brian’s neck and hummed with content as the taller man rested his head on top of his. 

“Come inside. It’s far too late for you to drive back to your motel,” Wensleydale murmured, looking up at Brian and smiling gently. Brian grinned and pulled away, holding his hand and walking up to the front door. 

“I could ‘t agree more, dear.” 

They walked inside hand in hand and shared another kiss in the dark, hands tangled in hair and love held back for years pouring out in its fullness. They fell asleep next to each other, limbs tangled and hearts intertwined.

Wensleydale was found.


End file.
